Assignment

During the session, we mapped our personal change profile by placing different life aspects onto the change curve (see slides for example), incl: health (fitness), love (intimacy), family, friends (community), Job, purpose (meaning, contribution), playfulness (joy, lightness, creativity), integrity (living my values), and any other dimension meaningful to you.

Until your Evolve Circle Meeting, please:

Look at the map and refine it if you have any second thoughts Identify a few areas (2-4 life aspects) that you want to explore more deeply For each area, contemplate and take notes regarding:

• Name the change (that has happened/ is happening/ needs to happen, as applicable)?

• What do I long for in this change, what is the opportunity?

• What might I need to leave behind/change for this change to happen in the external environment?

• What might I need to leave behind/change for this change to happen in my operating model (beliefs, behaviors, skills)?

• What makes this change hard, what’s at risk?

Assignment

IN CASE THE VIDEO REQUIRES A PASSWORD, THIS IS IT: Passcode: 7vUTS=AV

Reflections (for yourself and then for your Evolve Circle meeting during the next 2 weeks):

1. Refine/review your emotional profile- what is it, how does it serve, what are the cost?
2. Reflect on: What did my family and social surrounding teach me about emotions- in general and specifically for each of the basic 5?
3. Reflect on numbing: How do I protect/ compensate for strong emotions? (e.g., alcohol, drugs, intellectualizing, reframing, extreme sports, pornography, sex, shopping, computer games, eating, fantasizing….)

Practice- ideally daily (approx. 5 min)

• Sit down in a quiet place
• Focus on your breath, extending the exhale if you like
• Scan for physical sensations to ground yourself in the body
• Scan your system for the presence of emotions, checking for each of the 5 basic emotions (anger, sadness, fear, shame, joy)
• For each emotion you find, just welcome it, w/o interpretation or judgement
• Also notice and welcome the absence of emotions w/o judgement

Assignment

Reflections (for yourself and then for your Evolve Circle meeting during the next 2 weeks):

Review your personal needs profile

1. Which needs have I inflated or deflated?
2. Where do I feel my needs are met, where do I sense a gap?

Reflect on your upbringing, your childhood:

1. How were my needs met as a child?
2. How might that relate to my needs profile today?

Practice- ideally daily (approx. 5 min)

• Sit down in a quiet place
• Focus on your breath, extending the exhale if you like
• Do a quick scan for physical sensations and emotions, just noticing them w/o interpretation
• Check in with the 4 basic needs to feel how your body and emotions respond for each

Assignment

And here again the reminder of your assignment during the next weeks:

Please meet once more in your Circles relatively soon before we take a summer break:

• Start with a short meditation and a personal check in how each of you is doing ((approx. 5 min per person).
• Take a few minutes to see if there are any question.
• For the next hour (4x15min), you will practice the iceberg coaching with each other:
  • Taking 4 turns: One is the coach, one the coachee, two are observers who can come in and help when asked for, and who can share their observations in the end.
  • 10 min coaching per person, 5 min debrief.
  • Then move roles to next pair (A becomes B, B becomes C...).
• Spend a few minutes for general debrief and agreeing on the next meeting (see below).

As an assignment over the summer break, we suggest you do 3 things:

• Practice a short meditation, or a moment of mindfulness. Ideally daily. E.g., just sitting down for 3 minutes, breathing, checking in with body, emotions, and mind.
• Check in with your needs. What are you observing re how you have designed your life over the next weeks with respect to your needs?
• Observe your reactive patterns: When are you falling into a habit that does not serve you anymore.
• A good practice is to journal, maybe every day, what you observed.

Please also schedule another meeting before our next session on Sep 1, e.g., in the week before:
The main thing is to reconnect to your circle, and maybe just give everyone 15 min to share experiences, and what is “cooking” inside of you (something your are processing, questions re yourself that you are walking with).

Assignment

And here again the reminder of your assignment during the next weeks (for observation and sharing in circle):

Create a kind of inventory of parts that you notice

• Give them a name like my “perfectionist”, “coach potato”, “over achiever”
• Become curious, explore them without judgment and agenda, and describe, e.g.:

How you notice them (e.g., where in your body, what kind of emotions and beliefs they exhibit) How they want to protect you (i.e., which behaviors) What they want to protect you from (e.g., humiliation, disappointment…) How old they are (i.e., when did they start working this way) Why that was a smart behavior at the time How they might not serve you anymore (collateral damage) What they should know about you that might make them relax a little (e.g., resilience/capacities you might have developed)

Assignment

And here again the reminder of your assignment during the next weeks (for observation and sharing in circle):

Reflections - (1) for yourself (journaling) and then (2) for your Evolve Circle meeting during the next 2 weeks:

• Share about a connection of childhood (trauma) and protective parts

o This is related to the exercise Jens did with Feliks during the second half of the session (see recording)

o However, don't try to mimic the whole process; simply try to connect to the childhood situation, the trauma and the resulting protective part through reflection

o ...and then share with your circle.

Assignment

In your circles, take a turn for each person:

Person A:

Pick 1-2 areas of relational skills we dealt with in Module 7 that you feel you want to work on

(e.g., presence/feeling you, difficult conversations, boundaries, making requests, blaming, projections)

Describe how you are struggling in this area, how your current protective pattern shows up

Circle peers:

While person is sharing, try to be with the person sharing with compassion and curiosity, refraining from problem solving, advice…

Person A:

Share what the damage/cost of your current pattern has been to relationships (and you)

Pause: feel the sensations and emotions associated with this damage (e.g., sadness, anger…), and share

Share what you are really longing for in relationship

Pause: feel the longing, and let yourself be felt by your circle peers

Share how a different approach could contribute to the longing

Share specific ways in which you want to practice the new skill/approach

If you want, ask circle peers for advice or feedback

Circle peers:

Share what touched you, and (only!) if requested, any feedback

Assignment

NEW: The promised **reading recommendations **in the **presentation link **above.

Assignment:

Refine your notes re your evolutionary movement (contemplation 1), and the specific path forward (contemplation 2). Share and invite feedback and ideas from your colleagues

Contemplation 1: What is my evolutionary movement now?

What have I learned about myself that really matters?

What is a deep longing I feel now?

What is starting to change inside of me? What parts of my protective system, or even my identity, am I calling into question, or maybe willing to put down a little? What vital parts of me are wanting to be expressed more fully?

What are my priorities for my next chapter? What would be a good headline for this chapter?

Contemplation 2: Practical path forward

What are the biggest risks to me staying course on my evolutionary movement?

Habits: What are current behaviors or beliefs that don’t serve this change? What are new behaviors or thoughts I want to experiment with, or new skills I want to practice? What will help me stay on course for these changes? E.g., do I want to track habits (habit apps, journaling…)?

Resourcing: In which aspect of my energy balance do I need most nourishment: physical, emotional, mental or spiritual? What are specific steps I will take to recharge my energy regularly in this aspect (e.g., join a sports club, read before bedtime….)?

How do I create space to reflect, digest and integrate? What is my spaciousness/mindfulness practice: Meditation, walks, journaling…. How will I adjust my life to create space, and to reflect my priorities (e.g., what will I stop doing…)?

Who are my allies on this journey, and how I stay connected? Who are other people on an inner development path who can support me by listening, inspiring, giving advice…? How do you want to use your circle members?

How will I know 3-6 months from now that I am on track?